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MIND BENDER

THOUGHTS
FOOD AND DRINK

MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Thu May 14, 2009 6:56 am

WORDS OF WISDOM
AND OTHER THOUGHT PROVOKING EXCERPTS
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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:10 am

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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:10 am

WORDS OF WISDOM ???

TWO THINGS ARE INFINTE,THE UNIVERSE AND THE STUPIDITY OF MAN.
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THE UNIVERSE.
ALBERT EINSTIEN

I USED TO BE VERY RELIGOUS WHEN I WAS YOUNG. I USED TO PRAY EVERY NIGHT FOR A BIKE, BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT THE LORD
DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, SO I STOLE A BIKE AND ASKED HIM TO FORGIVE ME.

THE FUTURE IS ANY TIME AFTER NOW

LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN YOUR PLANS

THE OCCUPANT OF THIS HOUSE IS A BIKER WHO HATES ALL SALESMEN , CON-ARTISTS AND ESPECIALLY BIBLE THUMPERS ( OF ANY RELIGION ).
IF YOU ARE IN ANY OF THE ABOVE CATEGORIES AND STILL CHOOSE TO IGNORE THIS NOTICE , BE ASSURED THAT IF YOU DISTURB ME I WILL PUNCH YOUR LIGHTS OUT ! ! ! ! !

MOST MEN ARE NEEDLESSLY POOR ALL THEIR LIVES BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY MUST HAVE A HOUSE AS NICE AS THEIR NEIBOURS HAVE . CONSIDER HOW SLIGHT A SHELTER IS ABSOLUTLY NECESSARY .

OUR DEEDS WILL TRAVEL WITH US FROM AFAR
AND WHAT WE HAVE BEEN MAKES US WHAT WE ARE

WHEN A TREE FALLS IN THE FORESTS THESE DAYS , EVERYONE WITH A SOUL HEARS IT

LIFE IS A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE WITH A 100% MORTALLITY RATE

THERE ARE NO PASSENGERS ON PLANET EARTH,
THERE IS ONLY THE CREW

THE SUREST SIGN THAT INTELLIGENT LIFE EXISTS ELSEWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE IS THAT IT HAS NEVER TRIED TO CONTACT US
BILL WATTERSON ( CALVIN AND HOBBES )

IN THE SPACE AGE MAN WIILL BE ABLE TO GO AROUND THE WORLD IN TWO HOURS ... ONE FOR FLYING AND THE OTHER TO GET TO THE AIRPORT
NEIL McELROY 1958

THE SCIENTIFIC THEORY I LIKE BEST IS THAT THE RINGS OF SATURN
ARE COMPOSED ENTIRELY OF LOST AIR LINE LUGGAGE
MARK RUSSEL

EQUIPPED WITH HIS 5 SENSES , MAN EXPLORES THE UNIVERSE AROUND
HIM AND CALLS THE ADVENTURE SCIENCE
EDWARD P. HUBBLE


TECHNOLOGY IS A WAY OF ORGANIZING THE UNIVERSE SO THAT MAN
DOESN'T HAVE TO EXPERIENCE IT
MAX FRISCH

ITS LIKE TRYING TO HERD CATS

THATS LIKE TREADING WATER IN A SAUCEPAN ; YOU WON'T DROWN
BUT YOU'RE STILL COOKED
RED GREEN

NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FIRST STEP ON THE MOON WAS WITH HIS LEFT FOOT

FOR ALL THE ADVANCES IN MEDICINE THERE IS STILL NO CURE FOR THE COMMON BIRTHDAY
JOHN GLENN

A COSMIC YEAR IS THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT TAKES FOR THE SUN TO REVOLVE AROUND THE CENTRE OF THE MILKY WAY
ABOUT 225 MILLION YEARS

ANDROMEDA , OUR CLOSEST GALAXY WOULD TAKE 200 MILLION YEARS AT
THE SPEED OF LIGHT

IF IT IS TRUE THAT YOU LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES , I MUST BE A GENIUS
RED GREEN

WE CAME IN PEACE FOR ALL MANKIND
PLAQUE LEFT ON MOON BY APOLLO 11

A MAN MAY DIE , NATIONS MAY RISE AND FALL , BUT AN IDEA LIVES ON
JOHN F. KENNEDY


LIFE IS A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE WITH A 100% MORTALLITY RATE

THE FUTURE IS ANY TIME AFTER NOW

LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN OUR PLANS

OUR DEEDS WILL TRAVEL WITH US FROM AFAR AND WHAT WE HAVE BEEN MAKES US WHAT WE ARE

WHEN A TREE FALLS IN THE FOREST THESE DAYS EVERYONE WITH A SOUL HEARS IT


TWO THINGS ARE INFINITE, THE UNIVERSE AND THE STUPIDITY OF MAN ; AND I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THE UNIVERSE
ALBERT EINSTIEN

MOST MEN ARE NEEDLESSLY POOR ALL THEIR LIVES BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY MUST HAVE A HOUSE AS NICE AS THEIR NEIGHBORS HAVE . CONSIDER HOW SLIGHT A SHELTER IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY

THE OCCUPANT OF THIS HOUSE IS A BIKER WHO HATES ALL SALESMEN , CON ARTISTS AND ESPECIALLY BIBLE THUMPERS ( OF ANY RELIGION ) .
IF YOU ARE IN ANY OF THE ABOVE CATEGORIES AND STILL CHOOSE TO IGNORE THIS NOTICE , BE ASSURED THAT IF YOU DISTURB ME , I WILL PUNCH YOUR LIGHTS OUT.

THE SCIENTIFIC THEORY I LIKE BEST IS THAT THE RINGS OF SATURN ARE COMPOSED ENTIREELY OF LOST AIR LINE LUGGAGE
MARK RUSSEL

TO INVENT YOU NEED AN IMAGINATION AND A PILE OF JUNK
THOMAS EDISON

IF THE DISTANCE FROM EARTH TO THE SUN WAS TO BE MEASURED AS 1 INCH , THE NEAREST STAR WOULD BE 4 1/2 MILES or 285,120 A.U. or 26,503,615,005,100 MILES
26.5 TRILLION MILES ( A.U. = 92,956,000 )

THE EARTH IS ESTIMATED TO BE 4 . 5 BILLION YEARS OLD
IT TRAVELS THROUGH SPACE AT 660,000 MPH

ALL THE PLANETS IN OUR SOLAR SYSEM COULD FIT INSIDE THE PLANET JUPITER


IF THERE ISN'T ANYBODY ELSE OUT THERE , IT SURE WOULD BE A WASTE OF SPACE


OUR PRIME OBLIGATION TO OURSELVES IS TO MAKE THE UNKNOWN KNOWN

WE ARE ON A JOURNEY TO KEEP AN APPOINTMENT WITH WHATEVER WE ARE
GENE RODENBERRY


NOTHING IS SO FIRMLY BELIEVED AS THAT WHICH WE LEAST KNOW
H.L.MENCKEN

THE MOON IS 100 MILLION TIMES DRIER THAN THE GOBI DESSERT

SINCE THE MOON HAS NO ATMOSPHERE , FOOTPRINTS LEFT THERE BY ASTRONAUTS WILL REMAIN VISIBLE FOR AT LEAST 10 MILLION YEARS

TECHNOLOGY IS A WAY OF ORGANIZING THE UNIVERSE SO THAT MAN DOESN'T HAVE TO
EXPERIENCE IT
MAX FRISCH

EQUIPPED WITH HIS 5 SENSES MAN EXPLORES THE UNIVERSE AROUND HIM AND CALLS THE ADVENTURE SCIENCE
EDWARD P. HUBBLE


I PUT UP MY THUMB AND SHUT ONE EYE AND MY THUMB BLOTTED OUT PLANET EARTH.
I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE A GIANT , I FELT VERY VERY SMALL
NEIL ARMSTRONG APOLLO 11


IT IS ESTIMATED THAT WITHIN THE ENTIRE UIVERSE THERE ARE MORE THAN A TRILLION GALAXIES

IF THE SUN WERE TO BLOW OUT , IT WOULD TAKE 8 MINUTES FOR US TO REALIZE IT
DEFINETLY SOUNDS SO ... FINAL


BEER IS PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE HAPPY
BEN FRANKLIN



CENTER OF THE EARTH 3974 MILES FROM SEA LEVEL

ACTUAL DIAMETER OF EARTH 7948 MILES

WALL STREET IS THE ONLY PLACE PEOPLE RIDE TO IN A ROLLS ROYCE TO GET ADVICE FROM PEOPLE WHO TAKE THE SUBWAY.
WARREN BUFFET

"Anyone who sees in his own occupation merely a means of earning money degrades it; but he that sees in it a service to mankind ennobles both his labor and himself."
A. Lawrence Lowell


"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."


Thomas Jefferson


"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches."


Alice Lee Longworth


"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt."


"I have never let my schooling get in the way of my education."


"Familiarity breeds contempt—and babies."


"Golf is a good walk spoilt."


"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."


"Truth is our most valuable commodity, so let us economize."


"To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add sheep was a tautology." (notebook, 1902)


"We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking. And out of it we get an aggregation which we consider a boon. Its name is public opinion. It is held in reverence. Some think it the voice of God." (Corn-Pone Opinions)


"Never put off until tomorrow that which could be done the day after tomorrow."


"A habit cannot be thrown out the window, it must be coaxed down the stairs one step at a time."


"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."


"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."


"Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."


"The human race is a race of cowards, and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner."


"There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice."


"Suppose you were a congressman, and suppose you were an idiot. But I repeat myself."


"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great."


"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."


"October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February."


"When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane, not in all things, but in religious matters. When a thoughtful and unblessed Mohammedan examines the Westminster Catechism, he knows that beyond any question I am spiritually insane. I cannot prove to him that he is insane, because you never can prove anything to a lunatic—for that is a part of his insanity and the evidence of it. He cannot prove to me that I am insane, for my mind has the same defect that afflicts his... When I look around me, I am often troubled to see how many people are mad." [3]


The saying "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics" is sometimes attributed to Twain. He did not coin the phrase, but he did popularize it in the United States.


"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."


"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."


"Respect your superiors, if you have any."


"Jesus died to save men -- a small thing for an immortal to do, & didn't save many, anyway; but if he had been damned for the race that would have been act of a size proper to a god, & would have saved the whole race. However, why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?"


"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."


"When angry count to four, when very angry, swear." -Puddin'head Wilson's Calendar



You know you’re over the hill when your mind makes a promise that your body can’t fill.
Excerpt from OLD FOLKS BOOGIE, LITTLE FEAT



"I have a feeling I'm falling on rare occasions but most of the time I have my feet on the ground I can't help it if the ground itself is falling."


Lawrence Ferlinghetti



"Science is the topography of ignorance."


Oliver Wendell Holmes



"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once."


John Archibald Wheeler
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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:11 am

"Technical skill is mastery of complexity while creativity is mastery of simplicity."

E. C. Zeeman
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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:12 am

"Diplomacy means telling someone to go to hell
in a way that makes him look forward to the trip"
(Ton Delemarre)



"To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy."
- Will Durant
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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:12 am

-- Black holes happen when God tries to divide by zero
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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:13 am

ONE FACES THE FUTURE WITH ONE'S PAST
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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:14 am

"Trying is the first step to failure"-Homer j Simpson

THANKS GERRY
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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:14 am

"Blest is that nation whose silent course of happiness furnishes nothing for history to say."

Thomas Jefferson

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE WAS SPEAKING OF CANADA
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Re: MIND BENDER

Postby zappdog » Fri May 15, 2009 10:15 am

"There cannot be mental atrophy in any person who continues to observe, to remember what he observes, and to seek answers for his unceasing hows and whys about things.
Alexander Graham Bell
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